Biden’s UN Farewell Address: Hot Mic Pick-Up – OpEd
President Biden told the United Nations General Assembly Tuesday that he thinks “every day” about the 13 Americans who died in a suicide bombing at Kabul’s airport during the botched pullout from Afghanistan — hours before a House committee moved to hold Secretary of State Antony Blinken in contempt for failing to give testimony on the attack.
“Thirteen brave Americans lost their lives, along with hundreds of Afghans, in a suicide bomb. I think [of] those lost lives — I think of them every day,” Biden, 81, said in what he promised would be final speech to the UN — stumbling slightly over his script.
What NYP did not catch on the White House hot microphone (parody)
Biden: So what did you think, Blinky of my UN speech.
Blinken: Absolute home run, Boss. In fact, out of the park. One of the greatest speeches in the UN. We are getting it out in all languages. Voice of America, Radio Free Asia, PBS boys are covering it. Also CNN, NBC and ABC. Starmi liked it so too, Modi. It’s all over BBC and Indian media.
Biden: Yeah. But nothing for America in Fox News I’m told by Karine. Those Fox b……s really fight dirty.
Blinken: Not to worry. We have our Fox boys in Post put you on their front page. Did you see it?
Biden: Saw that. Love it. ShowsMurdoch may be changing his mind on Don the Con.
That should bring Karma a million Rep votes at least. You know, I could have won in Nov. They all let me down. Hilary, Bama, Nancy.
They will be sorry if Con Don wins. You know if Jill had not changed her mind, I would have gone on. And I would have won.
Blinken: Definitely Boss. You are the greatest. I hope Karma doesn’t screw up big time.
Biden: Okay, she is younger but she’s not smart at all. I really am worried about leaving the country in her hands. Gave her the soft jobs to do and you know what, she totally f…ed up.
On border security, migrants, Mexicans, black voters, women, young.
Can you imagine? She and her office kept complaining that I was giving her difficult, impossible assignments. They kept bitching all the time. Come on!
Blinken: Yes I heard a lot. They were jealous of me making the news too. Said I was crowding her out of the front page.
Biden: Frankly, just between you and me. Karine can do a better job. That girl has been fighting in the frontline for us every day while Karma has been pussyfooting.
Blinken: Pussyfooting Karma, Ha, ha. Good one.
You are right. God, I just hope she wins. Trumpi will be giving me a hard time if he wins, you know.
Btw, The House just pushed through 1.6 billion to take down China. That money should be spent on recruiting the best people – you know, us veterans who have been to Beijing and know how to deal with the media to pull Xi down. Will be great if you can put in a good word for me when I leave this office Boss.
Biden: Don’t worry Blinky. You have done a helluva job. Even if Don Con, Con Don wins, there’s plenty of moolah to go round for everyone. Don’t like to blow my trumpet but I worked my ass off to get the 25 anti China bills passed. Record and this will guarantee that all here will do nicely even if Con Con wins.
Blinken: I know. It’s money, media and missiles and we call the shots on all of them.
Biden: Speaking of the three Ms, Zelly has been pestering me for more money and missiles. A lot more. Greedy really. The money is not a problem. But he wants more ATACM and a couple of LRHM to target Moscow and Putin.
Blinken: Say no to him Boss. We can’t afford to push Putin to the edge. There’s no way he will not retaliate. That man has been consistent on red lines and we cannot ignore them.
Biden: Yeah. I have to find some way to see that Zelly continues fighting and doesn’t go back empty handed.
But it’s not looking good at all for Ukraine. Lost a lot of ground. I don’t know how much longer they can carry on really. New York Times is telling us to cut a deal with Putin and move on.
Man, that war doesn’t look for us. Too many lives lost even if they are not American.
Should have left Crimea with Putin. That’s all he really wanted you know. Now he will get it all the same and we will be left with a huge bill for years to come. Bloody Europeans and NATO’s fault.
Deep pause
Anyway out of this, Blinky? I can’t sleep properly thinking of how I could have made the difference.
Blinken: Sorry Boss. You know I haven’t been able to give Ukraine much attention because of Gaza. Am going over to Jerusalem again soon. We have to get Nethy to agree to a truce. He’s making the US and all of us Jews look terrible with his endless killing. Practically everyone is calling us war criminals.
Biden: Shit. Don’t forget, us Zionists are even called worse. Someone wrote that Zionism has been etched into my political life and consciousness. He’s right, you know. I will never live this down. 40,000 dead
Deep breath
This massacre of children and women needs to stop, Blinky. I am a Zionist but not a war criminal. You have to push harder, man.
Blinken: I am but Nethy has gone mad. Look, you and I are soon no longer around to deal with the Palestinians and Gaza. You have to make sure the media knows we tried to bring peace and that we don’t have bloodied hands as the rest of the world thinks.
Biden: Yeah. I’ll do it. My final message as Prez is meant for the history books. Team is working on it.
Blinken: Make sure you mention the great work I did as Sec.
Biden: Definitely Blinky. Got to go. Jill’s paging for me to take my pills.
Note
Sam Altman, founder and CEO of OpenAI, tops the list of this year’s “50 Most Influential Jews,” published yearly by The Jerusalem Post. Altman is followed by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. At number 3 is U.S. Secretary of State Anthony Blinken
The most significant change in ranking goes to comedian-turned-President of Ukraine Volodymyr Zelensky, who was number one last year but has been dropped from the list completely this year.
Explaining the reasons for Blinken’s high ranking, the paper writes: “As someone who is both Jewish and the U.S. Secretary of State, Antony Blinken would make this list no matter what. But one can argue that he is the first openly and proudly Jewish U.S. secretary of state in that he always knew he was Jewish, identified as such, and has never tried to downplay his Jewishness to stay in favour
ATACM: The MGM-140 Army Tactical Missile System is a supersonic tactical ballistic missile designed and manufactured by the US defense company Ling-Temco-Vought (LTV), and later Lockheed Martin through acquisitions.
LRHM: The US Long-Range Hypersonic Weapon also known as Dark Eagle with a reported range of 1,725 miles, consists of a ground-launched missile equipped with a hypersonic glide body and associated transport, support, and fire control equipment
