CIA Celebrates Pumpkin Spice Lattés, Surveillance; Internet Erupts
The CIA tweeted out an image of two pumpkin spice lattés with a tongue-in-cheek caption about anticipating the popular fall drink in the US. The internet was not amused.
The tweet showed a Starbucks cup and a Dunkin’ Donuts cup held by disembodied arms in a “cheers” position in front of an agency building, coupled with a caption, “We know it’s not fall yet… but we’re in the business of anticipating things before they happen.”
The account even took the time to @ the official accounts for both coffee chains, as if free advertising from an intelligence agency synonymous with torture and death squads would help their brands. At least they didn’t reveal the agents’ faces!
Twitter took a dim view of the spooks playing at levity. “Don’t you have someone to kill? A government to topple? Secrets to steal?” one person asked.
“You’re gonna waterboard some people aren’t you?” mused another.
“I can’t believe I pay your salary,” one user sighed.
Others took the opportunity to give some “consumer feedback” to the spy agency. “Unless this is a ‘secret’ signal for all your agents to meet for coffee, I would think stopping our elections from being hijacked would take priority!” one user huffed.
“Anticipated this one a bit better than 9/11. Thanks team!” another snarked.
Even those sympathetic to the CIA’s mission rolled their eyes at the post. “Please hire me to help out with your social media,” begged a self-described “retired lawyer, patriot” with a “vested interest in the premier intelligence agency having a good twitter account…this ain’t it.”
Though some took the opportunity to ask a few burning questions.
“Be honest did u help kill Epstein in any form or fashion,” one person tweeted, then clarified he was asking “all three” – the CIA and the two megachains.
“Who assassinated JFK?!” demanded another.
The CIA isn’t the only agency to engage in bafflingly whimsical outreach to its captive population. The NSA dressed its building up in rainbow colors for Pride month and was raked over the digital coals for it – but at least now they have the identities of everyone who mocked their tweet and can mark them for especially intrusive surveillance.